No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize