All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm passing your future prison.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
