I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
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When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
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