"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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