I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
