is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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