Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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