I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
