Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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