sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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