the condom got lost in my hair
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
