I have demons in me.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
