I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize