whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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