Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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