I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can you bring me the toilet please
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
