he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
