The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
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I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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