Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize