So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
