Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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