doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize