We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you