My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.