Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it