ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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