i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
