Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
