i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
soo... how was my night?
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