I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize