i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
