Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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