Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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