Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
