We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize
