It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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