I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize