There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
