you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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