piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
