There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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