Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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