okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
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I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
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I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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