turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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