are you still at the devil's house?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
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did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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