Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
People with herpes should wear stickers.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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