i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
