so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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