Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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