Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
