video games are the ultimate cock blocker
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
