My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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