Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
