I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
