who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
there is glitter all over my balls
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
