quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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