I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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