Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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