Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
