i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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